Lately I’ve noticed the intensity of things not only here in Germany, but all around the World.
It’s so strange because on some days I only experience the beauty of life.
I don’t know if I just blended everything else out as good as I could or if everything changed with the decision to see the truth so clearly and to not look or shy away from it anymore.
As an optimist at Heart I look at the bright side of things first. Which led to me ignoring everything that was happening and wasn’t a part of that bright side for a very long time.
Today I know that I unconsciously, consciously chose not to see the „bad“ things in life.
Like for example when I had an amazing day and I was a glowing ball of bliss walking through the streets I consciously ignored anything that would tell a different story.
Today I know that this was a coping mechanism to hold the imagery of a beautiful life experience, but what is a „beautiful Life experience“ anyways?
Glass half full
Or
Glass half empty
There is water in the glass right?
That means I live and I get to drink it, or chose not drink it.
Lately I’ve been asking myself if this illusion that I created in life and in relation to some people really serves me on all levels and I came to the conclusion that it doesn’t serve me at all.
So I consciously chose to take of these rose colored glasses for good.
I mean I see a beautiful sunset when I see a beautiful sunset and I witness it, but I don’t color things, situations or people in a way that makes them look a little bit more shiny.
I chose to see the truth.
The truth is something that has many facets and variations especially for every individual experiencing it in a different way, but I chose to see people for who they are and not for what I want them to be, because chosing to see them the way I wanted to see them created an illusion I had a really hard time to let go of.
It is really relieving to do that.
To let go of all of these illusions and false hopes for the world, for people, for situations.
Tons of pressure I put on myself I let go of.
In return I recovered a lot of energy that I had been using up to create these illusions in the first place.
Win win right?
I also don’t look away anymore when I see things like homeless people, or somebody screaming at somebody else.
I looked away in the past avoiding situations like that, but they are part of life.
I don’t know what Esther and Abraham Hicks would say about this…but I chose to look at what the world is presenting me with a part of me.
I look at the fullness of life in every moment, with everything that is emerging from every moment to every other moment.
In one scenario I see to men fighting
In the next scenery I move in I witness a man offering his seat to an elderly lady and everyone looking out for that lady.
What a beautiful thing to witness.
But was the other scenario not also a beautiful thing to witness, just because there was a fight happening? Or a fight about to happen?
Why did I chose to judge this as something less beautiful than this nice gesture form the man and the people around?
Can I take in the fullness of life for what it is?
Can I look at everything and just accept it for what it is?
I asked myself that question many times
And I always told myself that I can.
Only to experience a few days later that I still prefer to see „beautiful“ things…
Isn’t it weird that there are these categories with „beautiful things“ and „ugly things“ and still I know that everything is a matter of perspective.
Some people may see beauty in a fight.
Some people might even see passion in it.
Me from the past chose to put it in the category of „ugly human traits“
But are they really „ugly human traits“ or is it really „ugly human behavior“?
Lately I also find myself to be annoyed by people easier than at some other point in time…I also ask myself what the origin of that could be.
But I allow myself to be annoyed by people and than I allow myself to love what I see in other scenarios…
But still I am irritatied with the amount of judgement that is coming from me in certain situations…
For so long I’ve been practicing neutrality only to get to the point I am at now
Chosing not to be neutral anymore and seeing what happens
Chosing to look at everything with open eyes and an open mind and seeing what happens…
Just observing myself and the situation..
I don’t know if I get to this neutral state anymore…
I just know that I can remind myself that I am a witness of life, but I am also living life….
So I am really questioning if I should take myself out of that living life circumstance anymore.
Because I am a player in the game like everybody else.
I may have different access points I can chose to log in from.
And I may even be aware of the choice to switch perspectives, but sometimes I chose not to and sometimes It is just revealed in a natural and the change of perspective occurs in an organic way.
For now I chose to look at all the colors and I chose to experience them all.
I chose to experience…
Experience life.
And the fullness of life.
On all levels.
How do you feel about what I just shared?
Let me know in the comments.
With love,
Janine
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